Written Off
“Sixteen years ago, I was a homeless, drug-addicted, ninth-grade dropout,” declares the woman sitting in front of me. With her elbows propped on her desk and her chin pressed to her clasped hands, it appears as if she is praying. This woman is Jasper native Tammy Hankins, current executive director at Hope for Women. Hope is a recovery center that helps women struggling with addiction return to a healthy physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual state.When Tammy was a teenager, her own ship sailed off course as she stumbled down the path of addiction. Some might have written her off, but today she emanates hope and strength; it shines from her like the beam from a lighthouse, a beacon illuminating lost ships along the way.“My mother was a wonderful mom. She helped me in every way; she even bought me a house,” Tammy explains. Despite this, drugs began to consume Tammy’s life and she began wandering the streets of her hometown. Eventually, she went for help at Aletheia House in Birmingham. “Aletheia House did everything they could to help me. When I was clean, I got my GED, went to college, and became a licensed practical nurse. Within five years, I had my own house and I had my kids back,” Tammy says.She pauses, and when she speaks again her voice is heavy. “I relapsed, and I was back on the streets, in Birmingham. When I finally got help again, I found myself at Pearson Hall. This time, I got on my knees and as humble as I knew how, I asked God to lead me and guide me and show me how to live again.”At this point, Tammy was in a thirty-day treatment plan. “After that prayer, I cried every day. I had lost my kids, my job, myself. On the last day, everyone asked me why I was crying, and I said, ‘I don’t know.’ I don’t know why I was still crying.”When Tammy left Pearson Hall, she regained custody of her four children. “I told my kids they had no reason to trust me, but I asked them if they could give me one more shot. And they did,” Tammy smiles, her eyes glistening with tears. Tammy and her kids moved in with her sponsor, Carmen Bass. Tammy remembers, “She let us live in her den, me with my four kids. We even had our little dog with us.”“I got my nursing job back and moved into my own house when I was two years clean. Right around this time, I met a truck driver who was also a recovering addict. His name was Myron, and he told me that God had called him to become a minister. Myron and I dated for a year before we got married. My kids loved him. My boys needed some direction, and they got that from him,” Tammy says, nodding.A week after Myron preached his last sermon, he went out on the road. “When I talked to him on the phone, I could tell he had relapsed. One day when he called me, he said, ‘I don’t want to live anymore.’ I came home and found his suicide letter…He had hung himself in my closet,” Tammy speaks softly, bowing her head against her still clasped together hands.“I told God that if he would keep me sane, I would help people everywhere that were struggling with addiction. When I uttered this prayer, it was like the world was born,” Tammy says, her eyes bright. Soon, she moved out of her own house, and bought another in Ensley large enough to house people who needed her help. She quickly furnished it with yard sale treasures. Within this new house, Hope Recovery Center Inc. was born, and became home to those who wanted to escape addiction. Cars and vans were purchased to carry people to and from work. Over the course of eight years, the recovery center expanded to thirteen apartments, with three people housed in a two-bedroom apartment. Tammy served as a house manager.When Tammy married Jeffrey Belton, they bought a new house and Tammy took a break from working at the recovery center. “Jeffrey wanted me to be happy. Not helping people, I was miserable,” Tammy says, shaking her head. “I got a call from my friend, Ericka Finley, who is a mentor at Pearson Hall. She wanted me to come speak in my hometown, Jasper.”“When I spoke, I was speaking to a lot of kids. Something in their eyes said their family needed hope,” Tammy states. “So I prayed that God would show me that it was him, not me.” After seeking His will in prayer, Tammy knew that His will was for her to open a recovery center in her hometown.“Pretty soon after I spoke, I got a call from Joe Matthews. He wanted me to be a director for World Changers and he told me to start looking for a building in Jasper. I found a building downtown that I loved; it was almost identical to the house that Hope Recovery Center had started in, and that was confirmation for me. The United Methodist Church was helping me search, so I went up there to show them this house that I had found. They told me they had found one too, and when they showed me the pictures, it was the same house that I’d fell in love with.”That was in February 2012, and Hope for Women opened up six months later, on September 10, 2012. “Hope” stands for “helping other people everywhere.”“So far, 200 women have been through our program. When they come here, their lives are changed. We help them mentally, physically, emotionally, but most importantly, spiritually,” Tammy explains. “Addiction can be overcome by one-hundred percent surrender to the will of God. It’s amazing what complete surrender to God can do. I know now that everything that He has shown me, my whole life, was so that I could show them.”“It took all of that for this; every bit of it. I don’t believe I could have gotten empty any other way so that God could fill my life with His will,” Tammy says of her past, and how it shaped her future. “I had a lot of pride and ego issues. I never thought it would happen to me, never thought I’d be on drugs. God built where I had destroyed. I prayed to Him, and He moved. Through us, God gets the opportunity to prove to the world that His grace is sufficient. I’m not shocked anymore about God, about His power. There’s enough evidence to know He will provide. I trust Him.”Tammy pauses, and I can see that she is reflecting on our interview, on the pieces of her life that she has shared with me. Within an hour’s time, I have seen such sorrow in her eyes, yet I have also seen immense joy. There is no question that God has transformed Tammy into a beautiful vessel to carry out His will.“Through all of this, my children are different. It has made a difference in their hearts. I see that they have a whole new compassion for people,” Tammy smiles. Frequently she is asked if she misses her nursing job, to which she responds, “I am nursing. I’m nursing God’s kids back to health.” Tammy is certainly nursing the residents at Hope for Women back to health and happiness.The love that Tammy has for those that she mentors is very clear. She says, “These women shine their light so bright, it can only be God. And God looks good on these ladies!”Tammy is beaming, full of love and compassion for the women that she mentors, for her kids, for everyone in her life. Her light is always bright, her spark unwavering, and her compassion for people is endless. It seems Tammy shines so brightly because of her love and obedience to the one who saved her. With a smile of gratefulness, she says, “I am relying on my infinite God.”As I look at this woman, I see the palpable impact of God in her life. Throughout her struggles, He has directed her path and set her back on course. From the pits he pulled her, writing off her sins. Now, she stands tall, a lighthouse in the storm of struggles, shining her light to lost ships along the way. 78