78 Photo Essay: Kay Byars
Words by Mike Cordle | Images by Al Blanton
Kay Byars misses the normalcy of life that has been lost due to the quarantine of COVID-19. She loves her family, her town, and her church, but these days she rarely gets to enjoy any of that. “At Christmas I saw my grandchildren as I waved to them from the front door. That’s all we would risk,” she says. “But, it’s worth it if we can stay well.”
Kay is the oldest of three girls born to Lanier and Howard Stanfield. Her sisters, Mary Breck Graves and Anne Lanier Stanfield, are 9 and 11 years younger, respectively. Kay remembers as a child sitting on the wrap-around porch of her great-grandparents house, which sat directly across from the original Son’s Grocery, a wood frame building long gone.
“I would cross the street and buy candy and gum,” she says. “Everyone left their doors unlocked, unless they latched the screen. Growing up in Jasper was a blessing.”
The Kilgore homestead had cornfields, a barn, and their apple orchard in the area where the Bankhead Foundation office now sits. “I made lasting childhood friends, most of whom don’t live here now. Why, I remember when they built the city pool. There was nothing, no Park School, nothing in that area.”
Kay grew up in First United Methodist Church, where she has fond memories: participating in confirmation as a young girl and watching Katherine (Kitty) Brotherton come by each Sunday School class to pick up the report and money collected. In 1958, Kay and Jerry Byars exchanged vows at the church as Rev. Tillman Sprouse performed the marriage ceremony.
Kay recalls an early encounter with the love of her life. That day, she was at Memorial Park pool as a member of the local water ballet. “He and George Lindsey were at the pool performing ‘crazy’ dives, and everybody was watching them,” she says.
Later, in her early 20s, she ran directly into Jerry as he exited Vance’s Drugstore. As it turned out, Jerry’s friend was dating her friend, and this began the “whirlwind romance” as Jerry once described in the local paper.
Jerry graduated from Auburn University and Kay attended Gulf Park College in Gulfport, Mississippi, as well as Auburn. After their marriage she and Jerry moved to Laredo, Texas, where Jerry was stationed during his career as a pilot in the U.S. Air Force. He was later stationed at Randolph Air Force Bace in San Antonio, Texas, and did his F-4 pilot training at MacDill Air Force Base in Tampa, Florida. Jerry served in World War II and Korea and fought in Vietnam. He retired as a major from his base at Victorville, California, in 1970.
Kay and Jerry returned to Jasper where he became Vice President of Public Relations for the Drummond Company and continued his love of flying. Jerry died a few years ago, but the couple had a long and loving life together.
“Our children, Jerry and Kim, grew up here and I have 5 grandchildren. Family is very important to me,” Kay says. “My grandfather had a saying, ‘Be nice to people. It doesn’t cost a dime to be nice.”
Kay also lives by the belief: it’s not what you do; it’s not what you say; it’s how you make people feel that’s important. 78