How Motherhood Changed Our Lives

Photos by Blakeney Clouse

On April 3, 2018, I checked into St. Vincent’s Hospital for my labor induction. I was referred to as “Kelsie” by all the nurses and staff during my antenatal care. However, on April 4, 2018, when our daughter, Mary-Hargis, decided to (finally!) make her appearance, my name became “Mom.” I’m not sure if the postnatal nurses even knew my real name. I quickly realized that I now had a new identity, and it would be an all-consuming, yet tremendously rewarding endeavor.

Although I wanted to do everything perfectly, I quickly learned that was not realistic. I learned that while certain aspects of being a mom came naturally, others did not. I learned that mistakes are normal. I learned that even when I thought I had everything under control, something could always come up to change that in a split second. Mary-Hargis definitely had a mind of her own, even from the start! Basically, I found out that while perfectionism may be a good goal, it’s okay to make mistakes and have grace for myself and others.

I also learned how to accept help. I have never been a very trusting person, especially not with this new member of our family who was so dependent on me. It truly does “take a village.” My husband and I are very thankful for Jasper First United Methodist Church Preschool. Tamara, the director, is the sweetest soul I have ever met. She once told me, “God gives us children that are perfect for us.” That may be the truest statement I have ever heard about motherhood. 

Lastly, I learned about time management and how to seek balance. I am a wife, mom, registered nurse, and office manager of The Sapp Law Firm. To say I wear many hats would be an understatement. 

I have become a planner junkie. My husband loves all the Apple Calendar invites I send to him (insert eye roll here.) Time management expert Laura Vanderkam said, “You don’t become a better parent by not enjoying your life.” It is so refreshing to take time to do things you enjoy doing outside of being a mom. Jonathan and I try to do date nights and we both make time to go to the gym and get some exercise in. It’s like pressing pause on the chaos, just for a little bit. - Kelsie Sapp

*****

I became a mother on February 4, 2019 to the most beautiful, eight pound baby girl, Ella Ann Darwin. I remember that moment vividly and would certainly say that it changed my life. I have only been a mom for a short time, but I would declare that it is almost impossible to put into words the definition of being a mother. To me a mother is a protector, encourager, friend, teacher, disciplinarian and confidant. Motherhood is a virtually endless journey; it is perhaps the most complex yet rewarding position I will ever encounter. 

Motherhood is a daily rollercoaster of both exciting and difficult experiences. A recipe that is truly unique, and no two moms are alike. 

I work a full time time job in the hospitality industry that requires a lot of late nights and weekends. Many times I wondered if I would be able to juggle motherhood with the already often crazy and overloaded schedule I had. Thanks to an incredible support system in my husband, my mom, and our very involved families and friends, we have been able to make it all work. In fact, I would say motherhood has allowed me to create a much more healthy work/life balance and forced me to really evaluate the hierarchy of priorities in my life. 

I do still struggle daily with the “mom guilt” that comes along with having to miss out on the little things, like putting Ella Ann to bed a lot of nights. But one of the most important things I have learned, is that most of all you have to grant yourself grace! 

I am very fortunate to consider myself the descendant of a long line of strong, selfless and successful mothers. Mothers who have, most importantly, built a firm foundation in their faith in Jesus Christ. True Southern ladies full of wisdom, love, strength, and dignity. Generations that have continuously sacrificed their own wants and needs for the needs of their own children. The bar has been set high, but I pray that I too will one day leave a legacy of being a great mom. - Katelyn Sparks Darwin 

(L-R) Kelsie and Mary-Hargis Sapp, Katelyn and Ella Ann Darwin, and Faith and Teddy Butler.

The joy and excitement of seeing Teddy’s face for the first time, holding him tight against my chest, and grasping his tiny hand was unlike any emotion or moment I’ve ever experienced. The days and weeks that followed Teddy’s birth were also special. I had no idea what I was doing and was sleep-deprived to the fullest extent, but Teddy was there. He grew. He cried. He amazed me. 

I was determined to do it all—nurse, soothe, change diapers, etc.—all while healing from Teddy’s delivery and not sleeping. Still, the mental and physical exhaustion was undeniable. I quickly realized I could not do it alone; I needed help. 

Thankfully, I had people in my life who wanted to help me care for Teddy, who wanted to help care for me. Even so, it was so difficult for me to admit that I could use some help. It was difficult for me to grasp that I would be a better mom to Teddy if I allowed those around us to love and care for us. 

Those first few months were precious indeed. The joy was immeasurable. My memories from that time are filled with my husband who would rock Teddy for hours so that I could get some sleep, and my mom folding a load of laundry. My memories include church friends who brought us meals, and close friends who held Teddy while I showered. I was not alone. My family and friends increased my capacity to soak up every precious moment with my Teddy. 

In the 17 months that have followed, I have continued to learn this lesson over and over again. Each season has brought new challenges, but also new joys. When I returned to work, I found strength and encouragement in my co-workers who prayed with me and for my family. When football season arrived, I savored wisdom from other coaches' wives and their “survival tips.” When theatre was in full swing, I smiled as I watched Teddy run up and down the theatre stairs with his daddy with students singing in the background. 

Motherhood has been a journey of tremendous highs alongside refining lows, but through it all, there is the joy of watching your little one grow and of weaving them into your life. These joys of motherhood can only be multiplied by receiving help from those who love and support you. Let them. – Faith Butler 78